Soha Ali Khan Reflects on Saif’s Distant Childhood Phase with Sharmila Tagore

In a recent heartfelt conversation, actor and author Soha Ali Khan opened up about a little-known aspect of her family dynamics — the emotionally distant relationship her elder brother Saif Ali Khan once had with their mother, legendary actress Sharmila Tagore. The revelation sheds light on the complex and evolving nature of parent-child bonds, especially in families navigating fame, tradition, and generational shifts in parenting styles.

The anecdote, both moving and revealing, emerged during a panel discussion on modern parenting and emotional intelligence. Soha recalled a time from her childhood when she and Saif, despite being siblings, would go days without seeing each other. But what stood out more poignantly was how Saif, at one point, would actively reject expressions of affection from their mother.

A Childhood Cloaked in Distance

“We didn’t see each other much,” Soha said, reflecting on their childhood years. “There was a phase when Saif didn’t want to be kissed by our mother. He would push her away.”

The comment, while casually delivered, offers a glimpse into an emotionally challenging chapter in their family’s life. For a young boy like Saif — growing up in a culturally rich but possibly emotionally rigid environment — rejecting physical affection might have been a way of asserting independence or coping with internalized emotional conflicts.

In Indian households, especially those rooted in aristocratic or high-profile legacies like the Pataudis, expressions of affection can sometimes be restrained, either by tradition or by the weight of public image. In that sense, Saif's emotional detachment may not be entirely uncommon — it may reflect broader patterns experienced by many children growing up in demanding or public-facing households.

The Role of Sharmila Tagore: A Gentle yet Stoic Parent

Sharmila Tagore, known for her elegance and grace both on-screen and off, has often kept her personal life away from the public eye. But within the family, she played the dual roles of disciplinarian and nurturer — a challenging balancing act, especially in the absence of their father, the late Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, who was frequently away due to his cricketing commitments and later, his diplomatic roles.

Soha’s revelation brings to light the emotionally restrained parenting style of previous generations — one where love was often shown through duty, provision, and formality rather than verbal affirmations or physical touch.

“There were no ‘I love yous’ in our house,” Soha mentioned in another interview. “But we knew we were loved. It was just shown differently.”

Saif's Evolution as a Parent

Interestingly, Saif Ali Khan — now a father of four — appears to have grown into a very different parenting role than the one he may have experienced. With his children — Sara and Ibrahim from his first marriage with Amrita Singh, and Taimur and Jeh with Kareena Kapoor Khan — Saif is often seen as hands-on, playful, and emotionally present.

From taking family holidays to being involved in bedtime routines, Saif has spoken in interviews about learning how to balance discipline with warmth. This shift may be a reflection of personal growth and a desire to break the cycle of emotional restraint.

In fact, he has said in the past, “Parenting is about learning every day. I’ve made mistakes, and I’m still learning. But I try to be there — really be there — with my kids.”

The Expert’s View: When Children Reject Affection

Clinical child psychologist Dr. Ananya Kaul explains that children pushing away affection is not always a sign of neglect or dislike. “It could be a sign of overstimulation, emotional confusion, or simply asserting autonomy,” she says. “Some children are more sensitive to touch, while others might be emulating behavior they’ve observed — for example, if parents aren’t very affectionate with each other.”

Dr. Kaul emphasizes the importance of respecting children’s boundaries while continuing to offer consistent, non-invasive emotional support.

“If a child pushes you away, don’t interpret it as rejection. It could be a temporary phase. Instead, stay emotionally available — through conversations, shared activities, and predictable routines. That builds trust,” she adds.

In Saif’s case, his eventual openness to parenthood and his role as a father shows that such phases can pass, and relationships can heal and transform over time.

Sibling Perspectives: Soha and Saif’s Bond

Despite the physical distance in their early years, Soha and Saif share a close sibling bond today, as seen in public appearances, family events, and interviews. Soha has often described her brother as protective, witty, and introspective — someone who reads deeply and thinks critically.

Their bond, like many sibling relationships, has matured with time. Soha’s ability to speak candidly about their childhood suggests a level of emotional security and reconciliation — one that comes with age, reflection, and mutual understanding.

Changing Parenting Models in Indian Families

This story is emblematic of a broader shift taking place in Indian families. The older generation of parents — like Sharmila Tagore — were often caught between traditional expectations and the need to raise emotionally secure children. Open emotional communication was not always encouraged.

But today’s generation of parents, especially those with access to psychological awareness and parenting literature, are increasingly embracing vulnerability, validation, and emotional responsiveness.

Books on conscious parenting, podcasts on emotional resilience, and social media platforms that highlight mental health have all contributed to a more open, expressive family culture. Parents now understand that it’s okay — even essential — to say “I love you,” apologize, or admit they’re struggling.

Full Circle: Healing Across Generations

Soha’s reflection on her brother’s distant phase with their mother, followed by her own emotionally literate parenting journey, represents a kind of healing across generations. It’s not just about what went wrong — but about what has been learned and reclaimed.

In interviews, Soha has spoken fondly of her own daughter, Inaaya, and how motherhood has taught her patience, empathy, and the value of mindful presence. She often shares moments from her parenting life, emphasizing emotional validation and respectful communication.

“I want to raise Inaaya to feel seen and heard,” she once said. “I think every child deserves that.”

 Emotions Behind Royal Curtains

The story of Saif, Soha, and Sharmila Tagore is not merely a tale of celebrity childhoods — it’s a mirror to countless families navigating the delicate dance of love, distance, and rediscovery. It reminds us that even in the most illustrious households, emotions can run deep and unresolved, but also that growth, healing, and deeper connection are always possible.

Whether you’re a parent, sibling, or child, the key takeaway is this: Emotional closeness is a journey, not a guarantee. And sometimes, it starts with understanding the silences that were once too loud to name.